Monthly Archives: July 2014

#GraduationProblems.

This week I’ve graduated twice. Having already done it once before, the novelty had somewhat worn off but it felt important to mark the end of time spent in a particular way. Mostly, though, I did it for my family.

The first ceremony, at home, went pretty well. No hitches, and it was fun to celebrate with friends. The second one, not so much.

Graduation Number Two required a whole family outing to the Big Smoke on the hottest day of the year so far. It was a long day. A very long day. My coursemates graduated in January when I was on placement so they weren’t there to soften the blow. They gave me the wrong gown. Nobody was happy. Suffice to say several times throughout the day I wished I hadn’t bothered.

Working on the basis that it’s always better to laugh, I amused myself by making a list of complaints my grandad had throughout the day.
And so I present to you, in chronological order and with repeat complaints omitted, #GraduationProblems, according to my grandad:

1. The lowness of cars.
2. White shirts and newspapers.
3. The length of the train.
4. The price of the toilet.
5. Pigeons.
6. Picnic benches.
7. The wind.
8. The queue for the lift.
9. The lift.
10. The height of the taxi.
11. Ties.
12. The slope into the Barbican.
13. People.
14. The distance to toilets.
15. Heat.
16. The Sun.
17. The distance to seats (approx. 2m)
18. Seats. (Specially reserved)
19. Jackets.
20. The number of degrees given out.
21. Stairs.
22. Having his photo taken.
23. Photographers.
24. Other people having their photo taken.
25. Queues.
26. A nearby Chinese family.
27. Not being at home.
28. The number of toilets in the Barbican.
29. Strangers talking to us.
30. “Funny bread” (ciabatta).
31. Sloping floors.
32. Evening Sun.
33. Lack of chairs.
34. Needing a chair.
35. The ridges in the floor.
36. The heat in the taxi.
37. Waiting for the train.
38. Waiting for a lift to the train.
39. The plant in the waiting room.
40. The mobility cart.
41. The delayed train.
42. Crewe not being Runcorn.
43. Waiting for a taxi.
44. Other people ordering a taxi first.
45. The heat of our house when we got home.

What a day.

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